Donny Boo Boo has become Donny Boo Hoo. He ain’t DJ Khaled, because for Donny it’s, “All I Do is Whine”.
Who, but the Narcissist-in-Chief and King of Superlatives, could go to a graduation ceremony—the Coast Guard of all places—and make just about the most important day in all those young persons’ lives all about HIM.
“Look at the way I’ve been treated lately, especially by the media….no politician in history, and I say this with great surety, has been treated worse and more unfairly”. Kleenex, please! Oh, you poor victim!
“I don’t even want to talk about how much I saved you on the F-35 fighter jets, I won’t even talk about it, I won’t even talk about it,” said Trump, obviously talking about it and talking about a plane the Coast Guard doesn’t fly. Donny, willfully ignorant (Nuclear triad? What’s that?), probably doesn’t even know which coast they guard, never mind what they fly. He probably thinks it’s only the coast bordering Palm Beach.
What he really ‘didn’t talk about’ was that he is on a pace—if he lasts 4 years—to spend $1.4 billion forcing the US Taxpayer to fund his lifestyle, including his near-weekly trips to Gauche-a-Lago, separate maintenance for his so-called wife, and even security for Uday and Qusay when they travel to do family business. From a cost-benefit analysis, jail would be much cheaper for the American people.
“Nobody’s accomplished more in such a short time as me”. Accomplish? There’s a Special Prosecutor and talk of impeachment, so there’s that. Healthcare? Nope. Tax reform? Nope. Bring back jobs? No more than the waitperson and bartender jobs Obama ‘created’. “Drain the Swamp”? Nope, he filled a cesspool, and he’s the lifeguard—but he cannot even tread water. Granted he does get shit on, but apparently that is one of his peccadilloes, and all of it is self-inflicted. He plays Russian Roulette with fully loaded chambers. He has his foot in his mouth, his head up his ass, and then wonders why he’s gagging.
He is incapable of taking blame. In essence he has installed a sign outside the Oval Office that reads “No Bucks Beyond This Point”. Harry S Truman he ain’t. He has thrown so many of his staff under the bus that the tires need to be replaced. Continuously he sends out masochists like Spicer and Conway—and now even Lt Gen McMaster—only to subvert them moments later. “Yes, I gave the Russians classified info, and I have the right to do that”, “I planned on firing Comey no matter what the recommendation was”.
He tossed out an impotent Tweet threatening FBI Dir Comey with ‘tapes’, only to have his bluff called and his non-existent tapes are now subpoenaed by Congressional Committees. Oddly, Putin has a tape of another meeting.
He is so naïve and so just plain stupid that he is forever accusing everyone but the real culprits of ‘leaking’. Any Inside-the-Beltway journalist will tell you that the leaks are coming from the West Wing, and from staff Donny himself appointed. Rats are trying to book a seat in the lifeboat as the Trumptanic sinks.
So much for accomplishments.
Wait! He did sign that Executive Order that allows mining companies to dump effluent right straight into local rivers, streams and other waterways, guaranteeing a kind of Flint Michigan equality for Americans living near the mines.
He may well have revolutionized Human Biology, too, telling us why he doesn’t exercise (nobody ever would have guessed that!), saying the human body is ‘like a battery and only has so my much energy’. Damn that Gawd for not giving people mouths so they could eat something and replace their energy! Clearly he holds similar beliefs about the human brain. It must have only so many thoughts, and Donny apparently is saving his up.
To be fair, he has also invigorated the electorate, first going after that virgin territory to the left of the mean on the IQ Bell Curve, where almost all of his remaining support resides. Unintentionally, however, he has invigorated the other side of the political and intelligence spectrum. Ad revenue and subscriptions for the New York Times and Washington Post have soared since November. For the first time in years, MSNBC is winning Prime Time slots, with CNN running second. Fox, the Mecca of Trumpflakes in electronic media, is now third. Aging angry white males and mini-skirted strumpets dipped in vats of make-up only have so much draw.
Donny has also shown that Trumpflakes are Sheeple, too, echoing whatever talking points their fellows spew out, saluting the same Freak Flag, running to the same Echo Chambers. They all now bark to the same dog whistle, even if Breitbart just makes up the siren song. Donny’s rallies could be mistaken for a dog-and-pony show in Pyongyang, except for the fact that Donny’s crowd is 100% white. (Check out @realDonaldTrump on Twitter and take a look at his heading photo.)
If Donny could only shake off all that ‘unfairness’ and ‘Fake News’, why, there’s no telling what he could do! He has called the US Constitution ‘archaic’ and spoken of ‘altering’ the 1st Amendment. He wants to jail journalists who run afoul of him, kind of like other tin pot dictators he seems to admire. He has spoken in favor of Civil Asset Forfeiture, and he wants greater ability to monitor US Persons domestically, suggesting that 4th Amendment is also an irritant to him.
Ah, but poor little Donny Boo Hoo may not get the chance. The FBI is investigating. The US Treasury is investigating for RICO violations, including money laundering. HPSCI on the Hill has an investigation. SSCI, in the other chamber, has its own investigation. Now, another person Donny threw under the bus—Deputy DoJ AG Rosenstein—has appointed a Special Prosecutor, something that might ironically calm the storm temporarily. That’s temporarily, as Donny Boo Hoo is only one Tweet away from another gaff and another scandal.
Donny’s fellow Republicans are wetting their fingers and checking the wind. Their loyalty, being solely to themselves and not the country, is a function of poll numbers. They are The Swamp, but Donny Boo Hoo needs them now more than ever. Since Donny’s only real Republican support is limited to Billy Bob Sessions, the Imperial Wizard of the DoJ, and the fossil named Cornyn (R-TX), who may well be less popular than even “Lyin Teddy Cruz, spawn of a JFK conspirator”, he’s increasingly on his own.
Stick a fork in Donny. He’s done, even if he somehow maintains the title of Celebrity POTUS for another three years.