Silver as an investment

Swamptalk: Failing POTUS, The Art of the Squeal, and Lady Liberty Weeps

It wasn’t the best of weeks for Donny Boo Boo, nor for Lady Liberty.

Donny’s on a losing streak that might rival his six bankruptcies for overall failure and futility. He also has gone into full Ned Beatty ‘Deliverance’ mode, squealing like a pig on Twitter for his inbred base.

On the plus side—call it sweet lemon—he does seem to be a uniter, as this week all of the adult Republicans turned against him (though little boy Paul Ryan is still wearing out his kneepads). Also on the plus side—at least for Fascists—Donny gave them much to Heil this week, in the form of police brutality and civil asset forfeiture.

Regarding the latter element, in a speech before cops at Suffolk County Community College, Donny told the assembled police ‘Don’t be too nice’ when arresting suspects. ‘Don’t worry about covering their heads when you toss them in the back of the cruiser’. That won him applause from many, but also polite rebukes from the Suffolk County PD, the Gainesville, FL PD and the International Association of Police Chiefs.

Civil Asset Forfeiture—where a cop can simply take cash or other assets from any citizen for any reason—got a whole lot easier as the Imperial Wizard of the DoJ, Billy Bob Sessions, pushed through Donny’s demands to allow much greater leeway for police to seize things.

Stopped for a bad tail light? Now a cop can legally ask you how much cash you have, and if in the cop’s judgement the amount is ‘suspicious’, the cop can collect it for his precinct’s Christmas Party, Friday Night Kegger, or whatever. Warning: if you are black or Hispanic, it might be best not to carry more than twenty bucks on your person from now on, because you know this is going to be abused.

Ahhhhh….4th Amendment, we hardly knew ye. Of course Donny’s newest kneepad-wearing love muffin, Da Mooch, might say, ‘Hey, what did them Founders know from real patriotism, eh?’

Now for Failing POTUS himself and his Washington Week in Review:

Bone Spurs Coward Donny, rather than actually fire his Attorney General and first Senate supporter, Jeff Sessions, tried to shame the AG into quitting. Not only did it not work, but Senators from Lindsey Graham to Chuck Grassley came out shooting at the Failing POTUS. “There’ll be Holy Hell to pay (if Sessions is fired)”, said Graham, who added, “If he fires Mueller, that is the beginning of the end of the Trump Presidency”.

Yo, Donny, that was from an ally! Maybe ya want Da Mooch to fire Lindsey or send him into the corner with Stevie Bannon to suck his own cock?

Also, in case you missed it Mr. Failing POTUS, an open microphone caught a Republican saying what every other Senator is saying away from electronic devices: You are crazy.

Elsewhere, both the Senate and House put some handcuffs on Failing POTUS by passing an enhanced Russian/Iran/North Korea sanctions Bill that Donny cannot go around—nor even veto. With a score of 98-2 in the Senate and 419-3 in the House, no Failing POTUS veto could stand. Chalk that up in the loss column, too, Donny.

In a wholly transparent and amateurish attempt to deflect from his other failures, Trump tried to make policy by Tweet, announcing that serving transgender troops would be barred from military service, kind of like if they all had Bone Spurs.

With that bizarre, out-of-nowhere affront to people who actually dare to serve, Failing POTUS lost any members of the senior military ranks who still might have supported him out of habit or the desire for another star. The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs General Dunford told service people that all still had their jobs and had the full support and respect of the senior ranks. The Secretary of the Navy not only said serving transgender troops would remain in their positions, but their medical needs would continue to be covered (Note: the total budget for transgender specific issues in the entire US Military is less than two Failing POTUS weekends at Mar-a-Lago, and not even 7% of what the military currently budgets for erectile dysfunction medications.) That’s your third loss this week, Donny.

Failing POTUS also shared blame for the Senate’s failure to do anything about healthcare. Donny never even began to acquaint himself with the House Bill nor with anything related to healthcare—even though he repeatedly tossed out his usual pabulum about how he’d deliver ‘an incredible, unbelievable, great and affordable healthcare better than you could imagine. It’s easy’. It wasn’t, and Failing POTUS, because of his intellectual laziness, had a major (small) hand in its failure.

A normal and less mentally vacant POTUS would have studied the issue and at least pretended to have some ideas, but Failing POTUS is too busy Tweeting and watching Fox & Friends. As is his usual MO, he blames others for all failures, and takes credit for pluses with which he had no involvement. That’s Donny.

His Dumb Demographic, who seemingly are unfamiliar with the old adage “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me”, still actually believe Failing POTUS has both real plans and a desire to do something other than pretend to be a monarch. To them one might paraphrase the boy in Sixth Sense: I see Darwin Awards.

Thus healthcare reform failed, leaving Donny with a pen in one hand and his dick in another…and the pen is undoubtedly mightier.

Sasquatch Hucksterbee rolled out of her West Wing cot, staggered into the Press Briefing Room, and tried to put lipstick on the squealing pig by saying how wildly received Failing POTUS was by the Boy Scouts this week (in a campaign stop in West Virginia) but that fails to provide the true picture. The writer George Will referred to Donny’s performance as trying to ‘harangue some Boy Scouts about his magnificence and persecution’. Not only would Miss Piggy likely have gotten an equal or greater ovation from the polite Scouts, Hucksterbee ignored the fact that the Boy Scouts of America had to issue an apology to all Scouts and their parents over Failing POTUS’ appalling behavior, inserting politics into the Jamboree. That was a first in the history of the BSA, which is to say another loss for Failing POTUS.

In another bizarre bit of performance art, Sasquatch spent most of a shortened presser reading a handwritten scrawl from nine-year old ‘Pickle’, who professed his love of Failing POTUS in the same obsequious manner Donny’s ostensibly adult Cabinet—save for Gen Mattis—did in an unctuous videotaped meeting in the Roosevelt Room a while back. That earlier Love-In made the Last Supper look like a get-acquainted meeting for a new bowling team. Note to Sasquatch: when all you’ve got left to hold out as supporters are Boy Scouts and a Pickle, it ain’t good, though Fox will probably poll them to juice Donny’s numbers.

Da Mooch was unlikely to have ingratiated himself with anyone other than Failing POTUS, as he offended just about everyone inside and outside the Beltway. He accused Steve Bannon of impersonating Ron Jeremy. Around the West Wing he referred to the now-former Chief of Staff as ‘Rancid Penis’. He even dissed two Star Officers when he said, ‘The fish rots from the head down…only two people in the White House don’t stink: me and the President’. One suspects that did not sit well with decorated Generals Kelly and McMaster. Da Mooch might be getting fitted for cement scuffies now that General Kelly has replaced RP.

For those keeping score at home, the Failing POTUS has now lost the intel community (whom he called Nazis). He lost traditional Republicans such as George Will and Charlie Sykes. He has lost most of the Republican Congress, in particular the Senate. He lost the senior ranks of the military. He lost the Boy Scouts. He is in the process of losing the Far Right.

On the other hand, he solidified his two key demographics: The Dumb and the Neo Fascists. He’s got a solid lock on both Crackerville as well as Berchtesgaden. He has the full embrace of the American Taliban, those Flat Earth, Man-and-dinosaurs-living-together so-called Evangelicals, who somehow see the Second Coming in a serial philandering, willfully ignorant, self-absorbed, pathologically lying, racist and misogynistic Narcissist, who daily violates most all of the Seven Deadlies. All he need do is yell ‘Jeebus’, and the fleeced flock screams, ‘Praise da Lawd!’

He also seems to have Goldman Sachs, as he has stuffed his Administration full of GS alumni, but truth be told, they do not so much follow the wind as initiate the tornado. They would have been flies on Hillary, too, if she had won, as that Swamp is forever and nearly omnipotent. Failing POTUS has merely added a Cesspool to the Swamp, and he and Anthony ‘F-Bomb’ Scarabunga share lifeguard duties.

While Donny still remains a participle—as in ‘Failing’—he’s full speed ahead for past tense. He was effectively neutered this week, even though the junkyard dog Scarabunga is running around behind everyone’s house tipping over trashcans. It’s noisy, but it’s really little more than that old sound and fury, signifying nothing. As bizarre as this national tragedy already is, it will likely get more silly as the wounded porcine flails away at his ever-increasingly list of enemies.

Squeal like a pig, Failing POTUS!